True Dreams
by CreaDiem
Summary: Everything Lynda dreams in "Day Dreams", series 4, has come true. Frazz is an agony aunt, Colin is selling Britain and Spike and Lynda have broken up. Again.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

"Do I have to do this?"

Julie Craig, editor of the Junior Gazette, finished off the last layer of Red Bordeaux nail polish and looked up with a somewhat forced smile.

"We've been through this Katie, yes you do."

"But why? It's not like she's going to say anything anyway. And frankly, I don't particularly feel like talking to a robotisised, cold hearted bitch, who will easily decapitate me, simply for asking the wrong questions."

"She isn't that bad."

"No? I heard she fired three people off graphics in one afternoon."

"Of course not."

Julie held her hands up and critically inspected her nails. This super fast dry polish really wasn't worth the money; three nails had gone all smudgy already.

"It was two off graphics and one off the writing team. I think it was her birthday or something. Oh don't look at me like that, they were lousy anyway."

"But I can't even get hold of her. Her PA keeps telling me she's busy."

"Well, keep trying. We need that interview!"

Katie marched back to her seat and aggressively threw her note pad on the desk. Julie was well aware of the displeased signals Katie tried to send but she wasn't worried. Katie always made a big fuss at first and at the end her interviews turned out fantastic. Hopefully this would be her best one yet, they needed the anniversary edition to be brilliant. A wholehearted interview featuring the first editor of the Junior Gazette on the centre spread might be just what they needed. Only problem was: Julie wasn't sure Lynda Day possessed a heart, more half a heart with icicles on it.

Julie gazed around the newsroom. She couldn't believe it had been a decade since they started. She smiled. They had been so young and naive but so eager to prove themselves. She remembered all the drafts she had put so much effort into and how Lynda had mercilessly refused them all. And if she actually, at very rare occasions, did like the work you could be sure of something else destroying it – like bird poo.

"What are you smiling at? New guy for the weekend?"

Julie waked up from her daydreaming and turned to face the young woman wearing a sharply green jacket, not at all suitable for her age. Julie guessed it was a desperate attempt to try and compensate for her non-height.

"Toni, you know I've given up on bad guys. No more dating for at least six months."

"Oh yeah… good luck with that. Did you see the news about piggy flu by the way; maybe they'll start flying soon…"

Toni Tildesley, Julie's assistant editor, sat down opposite her boss. Sometimes she found it strange sitting in that chair and having no Lynda around to tell her off. No Spike to comment on her height either for that matter. She missed Spike. Hell, she missed both of them, especially as a couple. Not even the bunnies she'd named after them lived any longer. Nothing was the same since they'd left. Nothing apart from the newsroom that is. After the fire they'd had the perfect opportunity to rebuild the whole office to their liking but instead Lynda had insisted on making it exactly the same. Toni guessed it had something to do with Lynda's obsessive need of control.

Later, when Julie took over as editor, she had made a memorable speech about all the changes she'd make and how she wanted more glamour and style. So far she'd gone as far as to change the "DA BOSS" sign on her desk for the slightly more sophisticated "THE BOSS". But then who could blame her? Redecoration was a huge project and office furniture just wasn't very inspirational.

"I love your jacket! New?"

Julie looked up with a proud smile.

"Thanks, it's my latest find from that cool vintage shop down the road. Sorry, I need to get those photos from the dark room, be right back."

"Yeah, sure."

Toni put her elbows on the desk and let a deep sigh slip. She looked at the stash of work that called her attention. She needed tea. Yes tea was definitely her first priority right now. As she stood up her eyes caught sight of the light blue folder in Julie's in-tray. Julie probably still hadn't bothered to look in it. Toni went over to the other side and opened it. The material in it was embarrassingly bad. Why was that guy Martin still on the writing team anyway? They couldn't afford bad writers as it was. Out of habit she sat down in the editor's chair. She felt comfortable in it; liked to imagine she was in charge.

"Julie!"

"Yeah!"

Julie came out from the dark room, photos in hand. Toni didn't seem to notice.

"What should I do about this motorway story?"

"Well, for a start you can get out of my chair."

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

Julie sat down, a little annoyed with Toni's habit of constantly stealing her chair.

"Look. Just tell Martin the story's good but that we're scrapping it for, I don't know, political reasons."

"Why don't we tell him it stinks? You know, the true thing."

"Martin is a lousy writer, but he won't get any better if we make him feel worse."

"Changed days around here since Lynda. He'd been sent to whimper in a corner for about a month. I'm glad I didn't end up as her assistant."

"As a matter of fact, this is all something I learned from Lynda. The way she treats people, she just reduces them to dish rag so I decided when I took over: no way would I behave like that. I mean, a brilliant woman! But totally paranoid."

"Absolutely! I'm gonna get the roughs from graphics."

Julie went on with her read through but for some reason she couldn't concentrate. A feeling of uneasiness came over her. Why did Toni always sit in her chair? What was she trying to say? When Toni came back Julie was unable to control herself.

"Never forget who runs this newsroom!"

"Sorry?"

What on earth came over her? Why did she say that?

"Nothing, I don't know what I was thinking. By the way Tidge you look tired. Why don't you take tomorrow off?"

Well… that couldn't harm anyone could it? She just needed to be sure, that was all. And then when she was, they could both continue as normal. Julie tried to concentrate on her work but it seemed impossible. She glanced at the latest _'Hello' _lying in her in tray.

"Hey, look at this! Do you suppose this is why it's so difficult getting hold of her?"

Toni looked at the magazine. _'Hard headed journalist James Thomson gets his own TV-show'. _She looked up in amazement.

"So, he's back?"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2  
**  
_"James Thomson, the famous American reporter who uncovered the Rivergate scandal, now gets his own British TV-show; Insider. In this highly topical production James goes undercover, confronts politicians and interviews people from all classes of society – everything to expose the truth about the world we live in."_

Lynda slowly folded the paper and neatly put it on her desk, as to demonstrate how little the news affected her. A nervous hiccup unveiled her true feelings. Inside her heart rushed. She felt a sudden urge to cast herself on the floor and scream, alternatively to peal her skin off and climb out of her own stupid body. Instead she stood dead still feeling her nails digging deeper into the palms of her hands. Her jaws ached and she felt a drumming pain behind her left eye.

Her reaction came as a complete surprise to her. She didn't know how to handle this. He was back. Again. So what? It shouldn't matter what he did, where he was. It didn't matter. No way. But why did he have to be in the same bloody building? A sudden wave of dizziness came flooding over her and she had to take a firm hold of her desk in order not to faint.

"Lynda?"

Lynda swallowed and looked up sharply.

"Yes?!"

The man almost left with a fright. He was used to her temper by now but today her hair was even more tangled than usual. He fixed his eyes on a spot behind her right ear.

"Sorry, but I've just started research for next week's programmes. Do you want an interview with that American chap?"

Lynda hiccupped unexpectedly and the man, not thinking clearly, turned his eyes to hers.

"Are you alright?"

She looked straight at him and for a minute he almost thought she would capitulate. Then suddenly a ray, almost as of lightening, flashed from her eyes and he had to look away.

"Look. I have absolutely no idea who this American bloke is, none whatsoever, and I have no wish to know anything about him so please bother someone else with your questions."

"But…"

"What?! What part didn't you understand? Are you completely unable to do anything without authorisation? When you eat do you ask someone to feed you? Do you even floss without permission? Of course we need the interview but I don't want to know about it, ok?! Now, get out!"

The researcher, Lynda still didn't know his name, kept his eyes on the floor while backing out of the office. Lynda got back to her chair. She needed to put her mind off it all. Work. Didn't she have someone to fire?

***

Eight hours later the building was empty and dark, apart from one, lonely office. It belonged to Lynda Day, producer of the morning news show. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and even then it had only been a couple of biscuits. The vast amount of coffee she'd consumed made her feel dizzy and a bit shaky. The good news was that next week's show would be brilliant thanks to her overtime. The bad news: she still couldn't control her mind, it kept wandering off to restricted areas and made her want to take her brains out and disconnect the Spike-related part.

"Pull yourself together, this is ridiculous!" she said loudly to herself. Unfortunately, she'd never been much of a listener. She was on the verge of exhaustion before she decided to sleep. Dizzy, she stumbled into the small back room where she always kept a bed ready made. The minute she laid down she fell into a restless sleep, haunted by dreams of old.

***

_"Sometime between now and the door would be nice."_

_He walked towards the door._

_"I'm half way, Lynda."_

_"Half way"_

_Oh God, stop him! She quarrelled with herself but couldn't make herself admit defeat. That she'd actually need someone. She didn't need anyone. Not even him. While seeing him walk towards the door she got a strong sense of déjà vu. She'd seen this very scene before and it wasn't good. A feeling of anxiety flooded over her and she felt faint._

_"I'm at the door."_

_"The door."_

_Why didn't she stop him? Everything around her turned into a blur and all she could hear was a loud ringing noise._

_"I mean it Lynda. This time, when I go, I'm gone for good."_

_"Good"_

_He walked out the door. He really did it. Could someone please make the world stop spinning? However much she wanted to she still couldn't move, why couldn't she move?_

_"Well, goodbye forever and all that."_

_And he was gone. Suddenly she realised what she'd done and rushed after him but too late. He was nowhere to be seen. The familiar feeling of devastation came over her and then the words, horrible but true:_

_'Why do I get everything in my whole stupid life wrong'._

***

Lynda woke up startled, her heart pounding. She sat up and made an attempt to get out of bed but frustrated threw her head back onto the pillow. A thousand times she'd relived that moment. A thousand times she'd regretted it.

She'd been so close to calling him. Tell him how sorry she was and how much he meant to her. But she never did. She wasn't sure it would do any good; they were probably better off apart. Or he was anyway. She was just a work obsessed, malevolent bitch, who made him leave her over and over again. He didn't deserve that and she didn't deserve him. Besides, to be perfectly fair, he had never tried to understand how much effort her job took. That she had to work twice as much to get the same esteem as a man. How she dreaded a future as a housewife living through her husband. She had created this life for herself and she was proud of it. For the last few years she'd even convinced herself that she was happy and had nothing lacking in her life. Up until now. He was back in England. Damn! She drew the cover over her head and tried very hard to disappear.

"Lynda"

"I'm not here."

"Yes you are, you're under the cover."

"No, I'm not."

"Ok, I'll just have a chat with my imaginary friend then."

"Go ahead"

"Lynda, how are you?"

"Never better"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Kenny, get to the point or get out of my room"

"Why aren't you sleeping at home in your own cosy bed? Your potted plants will have started their fossil process by now."

"I don't have potted plants. They die. Has anyone called?"

"Lynda, you have to stop telling people I'm your PA. I don't have time to handle your affairs."

Her cover flew off and she quickly sat up, looking at him pleadingly.

"But you're so good at it and it would be, you know, a real job."

"I have a real job."

"No you don't. You spend your time writing nonsense. And as if that wasn't enough you feel a need to tell the world about it."

"It's not nonsense Lynda, it's love."

"Exactly."

"Is this about…"

This is about one simple fact Kenny. I need an assistant, you have the time, you might as well use it. If you bothered to sign the contract I could pay you as well you know. "

"But I don't have time."

"Are those my messages."

"Yes."

"And do I have any meetings today?"

"Yes, but Lynda. You already have an assistant."

"Not any more I don't."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you need to improve your social skills?"

"Yes, but I punched you, remember?"

"Katie from the Junior Gazette called again. She's getting really irritated."

"I don't want to do it, it's history, the past, gone."

"Fair enough, why don't you tell her?"

"I will."

"You will?"

"Yes, as soon as I've got time. You know it's just so much work, being on my own and everything."

"Look, I don't have time right now but let's do lunch, ok?"

"Let's do lunch? You've spent too much time with your manager."

"Probably. Bye then"

"Yes, bye! What are you doing today by the way? Writing a new song? Never mind, I've got loads to do so can't talk anymore. In fact, I might have to skip lunch. I know, I know, it isn't good and I shouldn't but I simply have to, being without an assistant and all."

"I'll see you at one Lynda."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Colin was so pleased with his latest investment. The only problem was he lost track of time and now he was late, again.

"Lynda? It's me."

"Colin! If you're not here in five minutes, I'll send you off to well digging in Somalia!"

"Hey, I'm on my way. I had some very important business to attend to."

"Important business? What was it this time? The latest goggle-invention? Some new tropical Island north of Norway? Or maybe a complete stock of refused toys such as the fascinating rubber duck razors?"

"Interesting! Have you heard of someone selling?! Speaking of the goggles, I admit it was a bit of a disappointment but apparently the company is doing really well. And did you know it was called Google, not goggle? I mean, with a name like that it's a seller! AND, about that fantastic uninhabitable island I bought; even you have to admit it was a bargain! Alright, alright I should have brought warm clothes and survival kits when visiting but the trip was… enlightening. You don't really need all your toes anyway and my personal trainer tells me a wobbly walk is charming. Anyway, turns out it's worth a fortune due to a new oil find."

"I don't believe you Colin, how do you do it?"

"You should have seen me today then, I've been selling Britain. Did you know I've covered the…"

"Five minutes Colin…"

"The poor bastard, prince Fahid, didn't suspect a thing. Soon he'll no longer be the second richest man in the world. He'll be waving from afar while Colin Mathews and the Arab Nabeel Hafiz are way ahead. And since we're on the topic of way ahead, have you seen my greatest success so far?"

"Yes, Kenny was here earlier."

"He's hitting big in Japan right now. Isn't he the juicy little sex bomb you just love to have wet dreams about."

"Colin, he's my best friend. And anyone can get big in Japan."

"But still, I bet you…"

"Bye Colin."

Lynda hung up and sighed. She wondered if Colin was at all able to tell the real world from his Virtual Reality. Selling Britain, honestly? However, somehow he'd made it so far; he was after all extremely rich. She glanced at her watch, he was supposed to be on air in thirty minutes. She wasn't worried about him, he always had some dim-witted but entertaining financial advice ready, but the production team always got so nervous when someone was late.

*

The show had gone far better than expected; even Colin had been on time and without his chocolate milk moustache for a change. Lynda was walking along the corridor back to her office when someone caught up with her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"So Lynda, my favourite producer pal, that went well don't you think? I think that went exceptionally well."

"You were late Mathews."

"Ah, it's sir Mathews to you young miss…"

Lynda lifted the hand off her shoulder and fastened her pace.

"You don't get a title simply for playing tennis with a prince, Colin, you have to earn it. And knowing you that will probably take about, let me see… two thousand years…"

"Ah, happy days ahead…"

"What was all that talk about Russia by the way?"

"Lynda, didn't you know? Russia is absolutely the latest thing on the stock market! At least according to my uncle Rachmaninov the great and his right hand Bulls Eye Vernon. " Colin panted. He practically had to run to keep up with Lynda. She however, seemed unbothered.

"Yes… the other advisors in our financial spot didn't seem to agree?"

"No, but please, what do they know? They don't have the right sources."

"Like Rachmaninov the Great and Bulls Eye Vernon?" Lynda halted suddenly. She crossed her arms, pursed her lip and raised her right eyebrow, watching Colin sceptically. "Are you sure you're not confusing your virtual reality world with the real world again, Colin?"

Colin, happy to be able to catch his breath for a while smiled suddenly and shook his head, clicking his tongue. "Lynda, Lynda, Lynda, don't be silly. Why would I ever do such a thing? In fact I think you should try it, it's really relaxing. And apart from the stiff neck it's practically harmless. Well, people have been complaining about temporary blindness and someone said the computer helmet device can sometimes explode if you put it too close to anything made of cotton, but hey! Who ever uses cotton anyway? I've always preferred plastic. And since it's you Lynda, I'll give you a special price! You could build your own little empire in cyberspace. What do you say? Let's do lunch."

"I'm perfectly content with the empire I have here thank you." She started walking again. "Besides, I'm already 'doing' lunch, with Kenny."

"Great! I needed to see him anyway."

"Colin, I sort of wanted to talk to Kenny… privately."

"Sure, I don't mind."

"Really?"

"Of course not. I'll just make a couple of phone calls while you talk and then after, let's say about ten, we'll get back to business. You'll probably find it boring, it's mostly about gigs and preps, but you're free to leave whenever you like"

"I thought it was me you wanted to talk to."

"Don't be silly, why would I want that?"

After stopping by the office they continued to the canteen. It was often crowded and noisy, not to mention the greenish light that made all food look less than barely eatable. In fact, it was altogether rather unpleasing but it was the only thing Lynda had time for. Besides, she already had her own booth so it was fine. Or well, it was simply a table she'd chosen in the far away corner. No one else ever dared sitting there, frighten they'd get their throats slowly slit by a plastic knife if they did.

Lynda felt suddenly nervous and hiccupped twice in the cue for the Chicken Curry. Colin didn't notice.

"There's pie? I'm having pie! Do you mind? I'll catch you by the table."

Lynda watched him greedily help himself to two plates full of seemingly very un-crusty pie. Colin had never really understood the concept of self-serving.

"Miss, sorry miss, are you in the line?"

Lynda looked over her shoulder and saw no one, she looked further down and noticed a very short woman standing behind her. "No, I'm just hired to stand here with a plate and look daft in the middle of a queue. You might have told me it was moving."

"Beg your pardon miss, but I did."

"Well, if you'd been a tad bit taller, maybe I'd hear you."

"Why miss, that was a very rude."

But Lynda had already turned towards the food. She hiccupped again. "Damn!"

"What was that, miss?"

Lynda, now really annoyed, turned to face the lady. The little woman only came to her shoulders so it wasn't difficult for Lynda to make herself intimidating. True enough, Lynda Day never had to _make_ herself intimidating, it was an art she'd years ago perfected through daily training. "That my short lady, was an expletive, it's a habit I've been trying to kick for the past ten years, now however, I've changed my mind. I think I might kick you instead."

"Oh, please miss, I'm sorry."

"So get off your knees and move."

"I'm not on my knees, miss."

"Oh, really?"

She raised one eyebrow and studied the little lady from head to foot. Then she made a swift turn and went to take some food and a pair of chopsticks. She grabbed a packet of crisps and a bottle of water, paid and marched to her table. She was really looking forward to seeing Kenny now. He was usually there before her, waiting at her table.

"Hey Lynda, look who I found!" Colin fired away a proud smile and hit the man sitting beside him in the back.

She stopped still. It couldn't be. The water bottle fell to the floor, her blood rushed to her face and everything went silent. All she could hear was her heart pounding, louder and louder, like a rushing train getting nearer and nearer.

"Hi boss! So you've finally learnt how to handle the chopsticks have you?"

Of course she hadn't. Why would she ever waste time learning anything as stupid? And why did he have to know? She didn't think, she just let her body guide her and its primal instinct was to walk the four small steps towards him. She put her plate down, rested one hand on the table as she leaned towards him and with a sweet smile she looked into his eyes. "Hi Spike."

He lifted his eyes and met hers, took his glasses off and returned her smile. Then she dropped the whole plate of Chicken Curry on his head and left.

*

The world had started spinning again and as she stormed out of the canteen she could hardly see where she was going. She walked on determinedly but kept bouncing into people. Every noise around her sounded as if it was being played from an old Walkman loosing its batteries. She reached her office, closed the door. Everything went black and then she fell.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Frazz leaned back in his chair. He took his black hat off and used it as a fan. The hat had seemed like such a good idea at the beginning. After all, you couldn't be Doctor Cool if you didn't wear a cool hat, now could you?

"Bill, is there any possibility I could actually get some proper air in here?"

"Frazz, I'm completely paralyzed _and _stuck in a small booth, what kind of a self obsessed question is that? Do you want me to run out there and wave the hat for you? Maybe your royal highness would like some coke? Ice in it? Is it ok if it takes about an hour? You see I have a problem running... Didn't I tell you the air conditioning is busted?"

"Yes you did, but I never imagined it would get this hot in here."

"Don't worry, it's your last call after this song and then it's back to freedom for everyone who can walk."

"That's alright Bill, you can go home and play Nintendo Super Mario and pretend you're him. Jump up and down and eat mushrooms."

"Very funny, I'll more likely shoot some ducks and pretend you're them. Oh no, too late, didn't have to!"

Frazz chose to ignore that comment. He'd found that was most often the easiest way to solve things. "Sounds like the song's ending."

"It is, soon, but Frazz? Could you at least try and listen to our next caller?"

Frazz looked up, trying to work out what Bill could possibly refer to. "What do you mean? I always listen."

"Yes, but you rarely contemplate what they're saying and sometimes your advice is a little… incomprehensible."

"No" He shook his head, tired of being constantly misunderstood. "It's just they, and you apparently, who are stupid."

"You only just told a single, lonely woman to divorce her husband."

"Yes, she should. Marriage is the source of all evil. Wasn't the song ending?"

"Yes, ready in 8, 7, 6…"

Frazz coughed briefly and tried to find his best radio voice. In a hoarse and slowly manner, sounding like he'd taken a sleeping pill, he greeted his listeners. "Hello my dear friends out there and welcome back to Doctor Cool. I'm here to help you with all your problems so just call in and we'll talk about what's bothering you. Nothing's too big or too small for Doctor Cool. And yes! I think we have someone calling right now. Hello and welcome to Doctor Cool's therapeutic hour, how can I help _you _this evening?"

"My ex just threw a plateful of chicken curry on me and now I'm worried about the stains on my shirt."

Frazz sat up right in his chair. He even forgot to use his well-rehearsed radio voice and almost laughed out loud. "Sorry mate, the shirt's ruined, you're ruined, everything's ruined… buy a dog."

"Glad to hear that, thank you for your honest reply Doctor Cool."

"Anytime, dear friend, that's what I'm here for. And with that we'll have to say goodbye. Be with us again, next week, same place, same time. Be safe and love each other. " He waved for Bill to put on some more music and then got back to the guy on the telephone.

"So, when did you get back then?"

"Two days ago."

"And you've already been fighting with her?"

"Well, what can I say, must be my intoxicating charisma. Fancy a pint?"

"I'll be out in a sec."

*

"Lynda? Lynda! Wake up!"

Lynda blinked and gazed towards the dark figure leaning over her. The bright light from the window turned him into a dark, unrecognisable silhouette.

"Spike?"

"No, Lynda. It's me, Kenny."

"Kenny. What happened?"

"I don't know. I waited for you to come to lunch. When you didn't arrive I went to get you and I found you on the floor. Are you alright?"

She sat up confused, and absentmindedly placed her curly hair behind her ears. "I'm fine. I just need some water."

Kenny went to the water cooler to get some, then sat down beside Lynda and looked her in the eyes. "This is not the first time you faint is it? You've been feeling dizzy a lot lately haven't you?"

Lynda thankfully accepted the water, took a sip and then stared right at Kenny. "I thought you didn't want the job as my assistant. Hence, what happens at the office is none of your business."

"I still hold the position of friend, I think, and that makes me entitled to worry. I'm even inclined to add that giving advice and support is included within the description of said term, and I, as your friend, would advice you to take a holiday."

Lynda blinked, she looked almost humiliated. "A what?"

" A holiday, you know a couple of weeks off. Just rest for a bit, maybe travel somewhere. Get your mind off things."

"I don't need to take my mind off anything and I certainly don't have time for holidays. I need to be here. A good night's sleep and I'll be fine."

Lynda got up from the floor and went to her desk. She sat down and started looking through some papers, carefully avoiding Kenny's investigating eyes.

"Lynda, you have been working a lot lately and no one can go on like that forever. Besides, something else has happened, hasn't it?"

"Not at all"

"Have you seen Spike?"

Lynda raised her head, startled. "No! Why? What makes you think I have?"

"You thought I was Spike just now."

"Yes?" She tried her best to look untouched and went back to her papers, noticed she was pretending to read an invitation to the launch of 'Teddy's new pyjama – a new kind of children's novel', and quickly changed to something more work-like. "Well I haven't"

*

"So she threw a plate of chicken curry on you?"

Frazz placed a pint before Spike and sat down opposite his long lost, American friend. The pub was rather quiet today, which suited them fine. They hadn't seen each other for five years and had a lot to catch up on. Spike instantly grabbed his beer and drank a quarter of it in one go. He wiped his mouth and laughed.

"Yeah, I didn't even have time to make a joke." He pointed with his glasses to underline what he was saying." And I had some pretty good lines planned out."

"How was it?"

"Brilliant obviously!" he exclaimed, leaning back in his chair, looking completely at ease."

"Not your joke Spike, seeing Lynda."

"Pretty much the same as when we were together, only a bit more sticky."

Frazz sighed, took a sip of his beer and tried again to get a decent reply out of Spike. "But how did it feel?"

Spike leaned forward and said in a low voice, as though explaining something extremely complicated: "Well, at first a very hot sensation sort of overwhelmed me, then my blood started pumping when I realised how messed up my hair would get and I…"

Frazz rolled his eyes. "Spike"

"Well Frazz… it didn't _feel_ anything. You know me. I was cool, cooler than a cool coke. In fact, I was so cool condensed smoke came out of my mouth. The north pole would have been considered moderately warm in my presence."

"If you say so."

"I do. Honestly Frazz, I'm in England because I got offered this job. It has absolutely nothing to do with Lynda Day."

*

"Colin said you saw him." Kenny got up from the floor and sat himself opposite his best friend.

"Well, maybe I did briefly, I can't really recall. I need to go get… something" Lynda rose from the chair and made an attempt to go to the door.

"And that you threw a plate of chicken curry on him?"

Lynda stopped still and turned around. "So what if I did? He deserved it."

"Oh yeah? Why?"

"Well… He was smirking. And he was sitting at my table."

Kenny sighed and decided not to push the subject any further. "Lynda, I'm going to agree to something. Because I don't want you to get ill and because I'm worried about you, but I'll do it on one condition."

Lynda looked at him and for a split second she almost produced half a smile. "You'll be my assistant?"

"Yes, but if I do this, I'd like you to come to my next concert."

"Oh" She looked down again, uncertain. "I don't think so."

*

"So, you're not getting back together then?"

"Frazz, she dumped me for her career and I have no reason to believe she's changed her mind."

Frazz shrugged. "Apart from the curry."

"Yes, a definite come on, lots of subtle signals. Too bad it wasn't a pizza, now that would have been a definite declaration of ardent and dedicated love"

"Well, it is Lynda…"

Spike looked down. "Hm…" He emptied his glass. "Let's talk about something less complicated. What's new?"

"Well, remember Kenny?"

"Of course I remember Kenny. I even think I spotted him on television in America, but that was probably just a doppelganger, right?"

"Actually, it probably was him and he's hitting it quite big. He's going to have a concert in a few weeks. You wanna go?"

*

"Why not?"

"Kenny, you know how I get when there's lots of people around. Why would you want to force that on me?"

"I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable, I just thought that maybe you'd want to see me on stage. You are after all my best friend and you have not yet been to a single one of my concerts. I'd kind of like to know that you were in the audience for once."

"I've been to one of your concerts."

"No you haven't."

"Yes, I have'"

"Which one?"

"The one in February."

"No, you said that you'd caught something extremely contagious and that you couldn't go outside for at least four weeks, remember?"

*

"Oh, I just remembered, I think I might have this thing that I have to do that day."

Frazz raised his eyebrows. "You don't have a _thing _that particular evening."

"Oh, maybe I don't, but… won't Lynda be there?"

"Nah, she never shows up on the big social occasions."

"Oh, I don't know."

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun. A lot of people from the old gang's gonna be there."

*

"But I don't know if I'll be able to handle all those people. People from the past."

"Could you maybe consider doing it for me?"

"And if I do this you will be my assistant?"

He nodded. "Yes I will"

*

Spike hesitated but then shook his head chuckling. "I can't believe I'm doing this. What the hell. Ok, yeah, absolutely. I missed him last time I had the chance. Kenny's big concert, exciting! Let's get another beer."

*

She paused and sighed. Then she saw all the work that needed her attention, remembered all the phone calls she had to make and the e-mails that should have been sent yesterday. "Oh, ok then, I'll be there. You know what? I'm actually looking forward to it, I'm almost kind of… excited. Could you get me a coffee?"


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

So, he was back. Katie put down the magazine and bit her lip. She new there was more to this than was said in the latest edition of '_Hello'_. Julie had been really excited when she handed her the issue.

"That's what's happened, do something about it."

That was all she'd said, no clues, nothing. Katie went to put the kettle on. Absentmindedly she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and a tea bag from the jar. She was sure she'd read the story about Spike and Lynda before, but where? She sighed and looked out over the newsroom. Of course! The thought hit her like a gunshot and she quickly poured water into her cup and ran over to Julie's desk. There it was: an old edition of _'The Junior Gazette'_. The front page showed a picture of a young, good looking man slapping an equally young woman. The headline read _'Spike and Lynda, you can tell it's love.' _

Katie went to get a copy of the issue and started reading. Here it was, the whole story! She took a sip of her tea. Yuck! She must've forgotten to actually put the kettle on, the tea was cold. It didn't matter, Katie had an idea, a brilliant idea, and tea was no longer needed.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Lynda took a deep sigh and pressed her gift tighter against her chest. It was only a small party with people she already knew, nothing to get nervous about. She hiccupped and rang the doorbell.

A blond woman dressed in a black skirt and a t-shirt reading _'make love not war'_ answered the door. She'd dressed up her outfit by tying a purple scarf around her short hair, making her fringe stand straight up.

"Hi Lynda! Glad you could come, come on in!"

Lynda entered, gave her friend a quick hug and handed her the present.

"Hi Sarah, congratulations. It's nothing special, but I thought it might be useful."

"Oh great, thanks! Come and meet Jeremy. Hey Jeremy, come and meet Lynda! She brought us a gift too." Sarah excitedly ripped the paper and opened it. "It's…" Sarah tried her best to maintain an excited look while she tried to figure out what the box contained. "A lot of black fabric, about four metres I'd say. Well, thank you Lynda, that's very nice of you."

"It's a burqa, you'll need it for your job in Afghanistan."

"What a convenient engagement gift." Jeremy smiled and shook Lynda's hand. "After all, I really want my fiancée to be safe when she's out in the field. It's nice to finally meet you Lynda, I've heard a lot about you."

"It's all true, and please, call me vampyra."

*

The room was buzzing. It was a good turn out and people were enjoying the nibbles and the free beer. The room was dimly lit by several candles, Indian textile decorated the walls and in one of the corners a strange statue from Nepal stand glaring at the guests. Ricky Martin was singing about living la vida loca. Lynda looked at her watch and decided that it wouldn't be polite to leave just yet.

"Have you tried these shrimp things? They are spectacular. Did he make them himself? He could sell these. I'll go talk to him."

"I don't think Jeremy is in the mood for absurd business propositions right now Colin."

"It's always the right time for business. But it can wait. I have something to ask you Lynda." Colin unsuccessfully tried to grab one of the shrimp nibbles. He didn't want to run the risk of loosing his plate if he put it down, it was full and could easily be mistaken for a serving plate, and his other hand was occupied by a cocktail glass.

"You wouldn't want to put one of these in my mouth would you?"

"Is that your question? In that case, here's my answer: you know that rule about not wanting you in the same room while I eat? I'd like to extend that rule to not wanting to be in the same room as you whenever there's food around."

"Fair enough. That wasn't my question."

"Could you move beyond glacier pace please, I'm leaving soon."

"Fine. Let me just tell you, I'm very disappointed."

Lynda, meaning to leave but curious about Colin's sudden seriousness, stopped and looked at him. "I think you'll find, Colin, that wasn't a question."

"Did you make Kenny your PA?"

"Well, he offered to fill the position and I didn't decline."

"He doesn't have time for that. Don't you realise what he's going through right now? The stack of fan mail that needs answering, the image to maintain. I had booked him into a hotel for next week. I had it all planned. I meant to send a beautiful lady up there, who'd later slam the door and rush out. Kenny would then order ten bottles of champagne and throw a great party on his room."

"Are we talking about the same person here?"

Colin had managed to force three of the nibbles into his mouth and tried his best to keep them inside while talking. "We need some juicy headlines. But now he can't do it because he's busy answering the phone for you. Will he even have time for rehearsals? And what was all that in the canteen about? You know what I think? I think you're loosing it." He put another nibble in his mouth and took a sip of his cocktail, spilling some on his tie.

Lynda should be offended but it was really difficult to take Colin seriously. She watched him amusedly. "You haven't really been famous for your well balanced mind yourself."

"I've never been sane. You're missing the point. Kenny has a huge career in front of him and I've invested a lot of money in this."

"Sorry, the point you're trying to make, is it about Kenny's career or about your money?" Colin was trying to listen while he balanced his plate and glass, had his mouth full of nibbles and dabbed his tie with his right arm. Lynda sighed. "His offer came with a price you know, I have to go to his concert. That should please you, one more in the audience."

Colin stopped still and then started coughing hysterically. "You're coming to the concert?" He finally managed to catch his breath.

"Yes, I am."

Colin suddenly got rid of his precious plate. "Well, what can I say, good decision, you won't be disappointed. Oh, is that the time? Better dash, have a phone call to make. Loved your input. Bye!"

Colin rushed off like he'd heard someone say _charity_. Sarah gazed after him and came up to Lynda.

"What was that about?"

"It's Colin, who knows? So, engaged, huh?"

"Yes, isn't it unbelievable?"

"Yes, quite. I never thought you'd find a guy."

"Thanks Lynda. Try not to destroy my engagement will you. I'm already a bit tense as it is. You know, Jeremy isn't the only guy I'm engaged to."

"No?"

"No, there are four other guys, but they are all in prison or blown up so I thought it would be ok. Jeremy was in prison for a while as well and when he came back I was so happy I didn't know what to do. But then yesterday I got this letter from Tom. Turns out he's out as well and Lynda, I could never choose between them."

"Have you even met Tom since he came back?"

"Well, no, but I'm meeting him tomorrow."

"Then maybe you'll realise that you don't feel the same way anymore. Feelings pass you know. You don't always have to love someone just because you used to. Things change, we move on. It has to be like that."

"Hm, yes, I suppose I'll see what happens…"

"Because if we didn't move on we'd just be stuck, wouldn't we?"

"I suppose."

"And just because you occasionally, at very, very rare times think of someone, that doesn't mean you're still in love with him. I mean, it's the past right."

"Right"

"Is that Frazz?"

"What?"

"Sarah, why is Frazz here?"

"Why wouldn't he be, I invited him."

"Who else did you invite?"

"Well… everyone. Although Kenny couldn't make it and…"

"Everyone?"

"Yes, what's the matter?"

"Are you out of your mind, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? Lynda, you have to speak out here. Is it Spike? Because you said only the other day that you never think of him. I think your exact words were something like: 'The old dish rag I threw away the other day means more to me than he does."

"Yes, well it does. Sorry, I really should be going now so thanks for inviting me and come to my office on Monday. I need to discuss a few things about your trip to Afghanistan. I need you to do a couple of things for the show."

"But it's not even sure I'm going to Afghanistan, with my wedding coming up and everything." Sarah tried to think of a way to get out of this, she loved her job but wasn't quite ready for another war zone just yet. "Lynda I've only been back from Iraq for two weeks. And Jeremy and I were planning to go on a little holiday."

"I thought the wedding wasn't until in like six months, and you can bring Jeremy – he's a fair photographer. Your flight is booked and your papers are all ready."

"But."

"Bye"

"I hate you Lynda Day!"

"Yes, have a nice night."

She went to the hallway to put her jacket on. While she grabbed her gloves and turned around the door burst open.

"Well, I thought I'd ring the door bell but then I figured: my hair is perfect, my as is tight and I don't wanna rob these ladies of the opportunity of seeing me at the same time. Here I am! So why don't we all close our mouths and get this party started?"

All the guests had gathered outside the hallway, someone had even turned the music down. When Spike finished they all cheered and started dancing worse than ever.

Lynda gaped as Spike turned towards her. "I said something about closing our mouths, didn't I."

Lynda clenched her teeth. "I don't ever remember listening to anything you ever had to say."

"No, that's right. Because when I say I love you, you normally send me away packing. Not really the reaction you're looking for."

"Well, apparently it doesn't help. You always come back, don't you?"

"I got a job offer I couldn't refuse. I have friends here. It doesn't always have to be about you. Believe it or not but the world does not evolve around Lynda Day."

"Big words from someone with an ego so big it could fill St Paul's Cathedral."

"Well, I didn't say who the world evolves around."

"You make me sick and I'm leaving."

"Of course you are."

"What do you mean, _of course you are."_

"It's a party isn't it. You never stay at a party for more than an hour. Even if it is at one of your best friends."

"I'm tired, I've worked a lot lately."

"No Lynda, you're afraid."

"I most certainly am not!"

"No?"

"No."

"Alright, so stay."

"What?"

"I dare you to stay at this party."

"Right."

Lynda looked him in the eye, took her jacket off and went back into the living room. She stayed for another half an hour and then she left.

_°To be continued°_


	7. Chapter 7

_It's taken me ages to update this. Apologies to anyone who may have waited for the end. _

**CHAPTER 7**

Lynda was sitting at her desk buried in paper work. Not even the sharp knock on her door could break the continuity of her pen marking different pieces of paper.

"Come in." She didn't bother looking up. It was probably that researcher with some stupid question as usual.

"Ah, the warm welcome of Lynda Day. Everyone can always find comfort for a while in the cosy, protecting bosoms of this glorious woman." The tall dark man leaned against the door post and glanced at his ex from over the Ray Bans he still insisted on wearing.

Lynda stopped writing but refused to look up. "What luck, it's the American."

Spike took his glasses off and started walking towards her desk. "I thought you'd be happy."

Lynda felt her vision falter and tried to calm herself with some water. She sighed. "Spike, I'm really busy, what's this about."

He stopped in front of the desk and leaned on his arms to meet her gaze. "Well… I'd like to thank you."

She met his stare, not once did her eyes move. "Thank me, for what?"

Spike, never able to stand still for more than a few seconds, stood up and had a seat on her desk instead. "It was such a nice party last night, you were there, and I think that obligates me to thank you for your company."

"Is that all?" Lynda rose from her chair and started to gather some papers and make for the door.

"No actually it isn't." Spike made an attempt to follow her but she stopped by the door and faced him.

"No? What else?" she said, impatiently.

"I think we should be friends."

"Friends?"

"Yes you know, friends. It is someone you occasionally talk to, without having hysterical outbursts."

"I know what a friend is."

"Oh, do you? Because I've never seen you having any."

"Yeah, Spike, that helps. I'm not interested."

"What?"

"I don't want us to be friends." Lynda tried for a second time to leave the room but was hindered by Spike who manoeuvred himself between her and the door before she could manage to get out.

"How can you say something like that? Just like that?" he said, frustrated.

"Because I can't stand being in your presence, so please move, my skin is crawling and I don't like the sensation."

"You haven't changed a bit have you?"

"No, I haven't"

"You're still the self centred, evil witch you always were. You make me sick Lynda Day."

Lynda paused. She still felt dizzy but tried her best to look unaffected. "So what are you doing here then?"

"I didn't come back because of you. You're the one who ditched me, remember?"

She felt it difficult to keep her cool and her voice unintentionally went one pitch higher. "Well, you haven't changed much either, have you? You're still the vain show off you used to be."

At this state, Spike was practically screaming. "So you ditched me because I'm shallow? Well, look who's talking: the woman with a thousand depths. You've got one depth Lynda, it's a big black hole and I'm not falling back into it. "

"Good!"

"Good."

Furious they both left the room, Lynda got to be the one slamming the door, and then they went in two different directions along the corridor.

*

Spike was so angry he almost disfigured a water cooler along the way. His intentions had really been honest this time and still she had this effect on him. She had always held this power over him. He had thought he was past that, but obviously he had been wrong, as was often the case when Lynda Day was involved… A sudden scream for help made him instantly forget his intense anger, turn around and run towards the other end of the corridor. He was met by a crying woman in hysteria.

"She just fell, she must have fainted… there was nothing I could do, she just fell…"

Spike looked down the stairs. There must have been at least twenty steps. At the bottom she lay, quite still, with the papers spread out like snow around her motionless body.

"Lynda!" He screamed, panic in his voice. He ran down the stairs, crying.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

_Two weeks later_

Kenny was standing in front of the mirror, trying to feel cool in his leather jacket. It didn't matter how much he practiced or how many gigs he had, he would never feel quite comfortable in this outfit. Maybe one day his music would get so big he could skip the image…

"Hi there big star."

Kenny turned around with a well-rehearsed move ending with his fingers pointing at his friend.

"Hi Spike!" Kenny noticed his cheesy pose and lowered his hands. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright." Spike stayed by the door, leaning towards the wall. "Are you ready for your big night?"

"Yeah, seems to be a good crowd out there." He got back to the mirror and started combing his hair, but stopped mid-brush looking at Spike. "I wish Lynda could have been here, though."

"I know, Kenny." Spike looked down at his shoes then awkwardly had a look around the room as he tried to gather himself. "It's time, I'd better go out there. Give them what they want Kenny."

"Yeah, thanks Spike. See you later."

Spike absentmindedly walked out towards the inner circle where he was supposed to meet Frazz. In spite of his unawareness he managed to notice the sneaky reporter from The Junior Gazette and very skilfully avoided her searching eyes. She had tried to make him talk for days, today was not the day he was going to spit his heart out. Not any other day either, for that matter.

The warm up band just started playing when Spike finally found Frazz in the crowd. It was a really good turn out and people seemed happy and eager to dance, even though it was at least an hour left before Kenny would enter the stage.

"Hey Frazz, there you are."

"Hi Spike, look who I found!"

"Sarah! Great to see you! I thought you'd be in Afghanistan by now?" He gave her a hug and was then presented to a man he'd never seen before.

"No, I got a letter telling me it wasn't as urgent as they first thought, so I had time for some holiday. This by the way is Tom."

"Tom, right. Nice to meet you Tom."

"Sarah", he whispered, as much as it is possible to whisper while there's a concert going on, "what happened to Jeremy?"

"Nothing, I'm just… not willing to choose just yet."

He looked at her with wonder but decided this wasn't the time or place to dig deeper into the matter. She met his eyes with compassion. "I'm really sorry about what happened Spike. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, I really don't want to talk about it right now. Let's have fun! Who wants beer?"

Spike left the group to get to the bar. On the way there he took a small detour to get some fresh air. It was cold outside but he thought it refreshing. The freezing wind bit his cheeks and he felt like standing there with his eyes closed the whole night through.

"Hi there mate!"

Spike felt someone hit his back and unwillingly opened his eyes. "Colin, hi."

"How are you doing my friend? Mind if I smoke?" Colin lit a cigarette with menthol flavour, and offered Spike one, he declined. "I am really sorry for your loss. Of course we all feel it, but I think you, worst of all."

"Thank you Colin."

"You know," he coughed "I really don't know how we are supposed to get along without her."

"No… look…"

"She was just such a dear friend and confidante."

"If you want to confide in her, why don't you just call her? You've got such disgusting amounts of money, it shouldn't be a problem for you to get hold of her."

"Spike!" Colin threw his half smoked cigarette away and grabbed Spike by the shoulders. "You are delirious! I am so sorry."

Spike shook himself free. "What are you talking about?"

"You have to move on Spike, it is not possible to make a phone call to the other side, no matter how much money you have."

"I think that if she decides to go to China, there will be phone connections there…"

"China?"

"Yes, or wherever she decides to go."

Colin took a step backwards in amazement. "She isn't dead?!"

"Dead?" Spike sighed, he would've wanted to laugh but he couldn't really muster the energy to. "No she's certainly not dead. She had a concussion but she's fine now, for all I know."

"But then, why is everyone so sorry?"

Spike raised his shoulders. "Because of the letter I guess…"

"Ah, yes… the letter… would you excuse me for just a second. I need to make a quick phone call to Kat… eh… someone."

Spike shook his head then glanced at his watch, he still had half an hour before Kenny would be on stage. He had time for a short walk around the block. The cold wind felt comfortable somehow, adaptable to his state of mind. He took out the letter from his back pocket. He really ought to throw it away, burn it, but he couldn't.

_Dear Spike,_

_I can't do this anymore, it hurts too much. I must start afresh, somewhere new. I don't know where yet and I will not tell you when I know. Please do not try to follow me. _

_Lynda_

He had, of course, tried to follow. After her accident he had waited patiently by her bed, not knowing how scared he was of loosing her. Of really loosing her and never getting her back.. When she woke they had talked, they had talked it all through, everything. And then one morning when he came, happier than ever, carrying flowers and chocolate, she was gone. The only thing left was the letter. There was no trace of her, whatsoever. No one seemed to know where she was or how to reach her, he didn't even know where to start.

Spike noticed he was back outside the club. He folded the letter, put it back in his pocket and went to get the beer.

*

"You took you time" Frazz thankfully took his beer and emptied a third of his pint in one go. "Kenny should be on any minute now, in fact he should be on already, I wonder what's keeping him."

"Where's Sarah?"

"Oh, she's somewhere snogging that bloke I imagine."

"Do you think I should go check on Kenny?"

"Nah, he's probably alright. Give it a few minutes."

A few minutes, and many more, passed with no sight of Kenny. The audience started to get impatient and screamed "Kenny, Kenny, Kenny…"

"I think I'll go check on him, anyway."

"Yeah alright, you want me to hold your beer for you?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Spike handed his beer to Frazz and went to see what was happening back stage. Kenny wasn't in his dressing room so Spike went to check by the stage. There he saw him, on the other side. He was kneeling down by someone sitting on a chair. A woman. A woman with tangled brown curls. Spike froze, he couldn't stop staring. Suddenly she looked up, she saw him and hesitantly rose from her chair. Then she started to walk out on the stage, towards him. He did the same, slowly they got closer until at last at the middle of the stage they met. He raised his hands to her cheeks, slowly, almost as if to make sure she was really there. Then he gently pulled her towards him to taste the sweet flavour of her lips.

The crew thinking this was part of the show quickly lit the stage up and the audience started cheering worse than ever. Frazz spit half of Spike's beer out and Katie told her photographer to get as many pictures as he could.

Lynda looked at Spike, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Spike." He hushed her and then she smiled. He stared at her in amazement. "Aren't you afraid?" he asked "we are standing on a stage in front of lots of people."

"No, it's strange, but I feel perfectly safe."

He pulled her closer to ensure she wouldn't disappear again.

"Why did you come back?"

"I figured there was no point starting afresh without you. Just stupid, and you know I don't generally approve of anything stupid."


	9. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

"So you got your story then?"

"I most certainly did! But I don't think I could have done it without you Colin. You know I'm ever so grateful."

"Oh, that was only a bit of fun… for old times sake."

"Well… I will forever be in your debt. So, Colin… do you eat?"

"Eat? Yes, I suppose I do. About four times a day if I'm lucky."

"Are you going to eat anything say this Friday?"

"Well, yes… I thought I'd just grab a pizza, you know, watch a movie… nothing much."

"Colin, I'm trying to ask if you'll have dinner with me?"

"You? Have dinner with me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Oh, yeah, ok. Yeah, I'd love to!"

"Cool, see you Friday."

"Yeah, see you Friday, I'll pick you up at seven."

Colin hung up while a new and unfamiliar sensation spread in his body. It was warm and comforting and he felt complete in a whole new way, a way money could never manage. He was on the verge to a new path and he felt confident.


End file.
